London is not for everyone; it’s crowded, dirty, loud, and busy. That combination can put anyone on edge, even someone that’s one billion and two percent in love with London (like me). With everyone on edge, saying it gets a little sassy around the town and in the tube (the underground train) would be a ginormous understatement. That being said, some people can’t stand the sassiness here and think everyone is just being rude. But for someone like me, who is sassy everyday of his life, I feel like I have finally found where I belong.
When using the escalators in the tube there is a rule that if someone is just going to stand, they have to be on the right side of the moving stairs. If someone is walking rather than standing because they are very important people and can’t wait the extra 15 seconds for the escalator to bring them up, they have the left side of the moving stairs to walk up. And if you ever visit and don’t remember this rule and decide to stand on the left side, don’t worry someone will remind you very quickly you are on the wrong side. But don’t feel too bad, these sassy people that yell at others for standing on the wrong side are also the victims of sassiness. There are signs posted along the escalator and tube tunnels that say, “A little patience won’t hurt you.”
Driving is very hectic here, the streets are very confusing due to everything being opposite of America roads. So I am super glad to be able to take a bus around sometimes, so I do not have to get behind the wheel on these roads. On the bus rides I notice a lot of signs instructing drivers on rules just like in America like “Don’t Drink and Drive” and “Tiredness Kills, Pull Aside and Stay Safe” which are very reasonable signs that one would expect to see on a very busy road. Along this same road we passed a sign that simply stated “Nobody Likes Tailgaters,” not explanation or reason. Just pure sassiness on highway road signs because it’s very true, people who tailgate suck.
Last week we took a tour of the Parliament building. On tour we were told if we walked off the course of the guide, we would have been considered terrorists and arrested. SUPER comforting information. On top of this there are these green chairs that people in parliament sit in during meetings, so she had us stand in front of them to get the view that they get. Before she told us to stand in front of these benches the guide made it very clear that “Unless the men were turned into princes overnight without my knowledge, or the ladies have become queens; you are absolutely not allowed to sit on these chairs.”
Instead of just telling us we couldn’t sit, the guide had to rub it in our face that we could not sit in the ugly green chairs by making us stand in front of these chairs after one entire hour of standing and walking around in the parliament building. It was absolute torture to not be able to sit down when my feet were killing me and there was a chair mere millimeters away from my bottom.
Inside the tube and outside the tube you will find sassiness wherever you go in London. My all time favorite incident of the London Sass was when I was walking past the lift (fancy way to say elevator) and a mom looked at her kid who asked to ride the lift and said, “You have legs, so we are taking the escalator.” Overall I feel at home with everyone at a similar level of sassiness as me, I don’t feel like a complete rude person while I’m here anymore. Everyone just understands and relates. If you ever plan a trip to the wonderful town of London, spend some more time around your sassiest friend so you are prepared for the town built on sass.
–Alexander Hagen